Dear Pinterest- where were you when I WASN'T pregnant?

I'll say it- I'm in love with Pinterest. It makes me want to clean my house from top to bottom while wearing the latest fashion then make a fabulous meal for my husband and end the night with a "do all 30 minute workout". I just have one tiny problem-


I'm 8 months pregnant! By the time I get home from work I'm lucky to find a pair of (notice I didn't say CLEAN) oversized shorts of Geoff's and fall (literally) onto the couch, hoping I don't smash my dog in the process. Our meals these days include mac-n-cheese, bowls of cereal and an occasional pizza from the box (don't tell my Grandma). Sure, I can "pin" amazing recipes with the best of them and have every intention of trying them out once I can stand for more than 5 minutes at a time but right now- they are just there taunting me with their "easy" directions and "only 7 ingredients".


Don't get me started on the clothes and shoes- shoes, shoes, shoes- sorry, I REALLY miss my shoes. Why couldn't these personal shoppers be around when I really needed them, you know, 5 years ago when I actually left the house looking cute, let alone acceptable (I use acceptable VERY loosely at the moment)? And all those amazing shoes! Just teasing me- I've bought 3 brand new pair of amazing heels since I've been pregnant and it wasn't until 3 WEEKS ago people started telling me my feet *may* get bigger and I'll need all new shoes. Say what?!? Clearly they don't know my addiction. I could be in some trouble.


Then there's all the hairstyles- for long hair. Yeah I had long hair at one time, took me 3 1/2 years to grow it out and what did I do one slow October day? Fall into one of those foggy pregnancy moods and chop off 8 inches. I liked it for about 48 hours... now all I see are "amazingly simple" and "beautiful and quick" styles for women with hair 8 inches longer than mine now...awesome.


Need I even mention the vast amount of shall we call them- Mommy drinks? I was SO not a big drinker before I was pregnant but all the "fruit slushes" and "colorful jello shots" make me feel like a kid on Christmas Eve, I'm just counting down the days.


So I ask you- Pinterest, where the heck were you when I wasn't pregnant? You sit there with brand new pretty pictures, fast and easy workouts, Hollywood style makeup tips and so much more practically laughing at me saying "sorry sweetie, you can look all you want but forget even trying to put coral and denim together right now".


Well the joke is on you and your creative little self because in 4 weeks from now I'm doing it all- I'll make that 4 cheese chicken roll up I've been eyeing. I'll work those black and gold heels I got for Christmas, I'll even rock that 4th of July wreath I pinned back in November. Did I say 4 weeks? Guess maybe I should aim for 4 months...